Nabeeda disappointed in herself

The day I stopped giving a damn…

I appear like someone who doesn’t care. For the most part, I don’t. But there are still things that bother me. Things I really care about. I cry. I have some extreme emotions because I do give a damn even when it may seem like I don’t. But this changed. It was a Wednesday morning, I woke up later than usual. A lot later than usual. I had 10 minutes until I had to leave the house to be on time for my train.

I had a choice between breakfast or getting my make up done. I thought back to all the times I had chosen makeup over breakfast. I thought about all the girls who might have made the same choice. Because society wants us to care about how we look.

For the first time, I chose breakfast. I put my clothes on and got my bag and went downstairs to sort out my breakfast. I felt proud of myself. That day when I walked into the train station. No one stared at me.

When I walked into my office, no one did a double-take. Because no one noticed. People did say I looked extra tired but I didn’t care. I had my breakfast and extra sleep. Extra tired – I definitely didn’t feel it.

And then since then, I haven’t cared. I wear makeup when I can and don’t when I’m in a rush. It’s a life-changing thing. It’s an empowering thing. Because for the first time in a long time it’s a choice rather than an obligation.

The person staring back at me in the mirror doesn’t need to wear makeup. She just needs to realize she’s beautiful in every way. The moment she realized that she was free.

Free from the expectations of society. Free from the negative thoughts that constrained her. Free from the boundaries she had set herself.

Thinking about my best life

That’s when I stopped giving a damn.

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