Someone somewhere has made us all angry at some point. They hurt us and caused us pain. Pain that some of us still live, others have healed with the passage of time. But you see anger doesn’t hurt anyone other than yourself.
Anger and pain
Someone hurts you and you get angry. They have caused you the kind of pain that you feel like you will never forget.
The first thing you need to do is feel that anger and that pain. Really think about what it was that hurt you? Was it what happened? What they said?
Just really feel the anger because otherwise, you’ll end up suppressing it and hurting yourself over time. Maybe communicate your feeling with the other person.
If you can’t then just release that anger, let it flow so it doesn’t stay inside you forever. Bottled up until you end up blowing yourself up with the pain and anger.
Forgiveness is the next part. After all, the anger and the pain comes forgiveness.
There are two types of forgiveness:
The quick one: this is when something happens and you just keep saying I’ve forgiven this person without even processing what has happened.
I am sure we all have been in that situation where to look like the big person or to suppress the pain we keep saying we are over it when in reality we are hurting real bad. This is bad because internally you’re still annoyed and angry but you’re in such a hurry to get over it that you just keep saying it till you believe it yourself. But it comes and bites you when that person comes in front of you again and you’re angry all over again because you never really forgave them.
The well-processed one: you take your time to process what happened. What annoyed you. You communicated it or released the anger or what annoyed you and now you’re ready to forgive. Now when you forgive you heal and actually move on. You don’t feel any negative emotion around that person because you’re truly calm. This takes time, weeks or months but it’s worth it.
Not ever forgiving someone or just ignoring it all is bad just for you.
There’s a quote:
Holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die
The reality even now and in the future, someone will annoy you it’s about how you deal with it and move on from it that matters the most.